EMDR Therapy: A Conversation About Healing Generational Trauma You Don't Want To Miss
- Dana Carretta-Stein
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Have you ever felt like you’re carrying stuff that isn’t even yours? Like your anxiety, your fear of abandonment, or your overreaction to “small” things didn’t just start with you?
In a recent podcast with my friend and fellow therapist Connor McClenahan of Here Counseling, we dove into that exact experience—and how EMDR therapy can offer a way through it.
We talked about why people resist trauma work, how to move through that discomfort without feeling like you’re falling apart, and the wild but beautiful truth that healing your own pain can actually shift generational patterns.
Whether you're a therapist or a client, this conversation unpacks how EMDR therapy works, what to expect in a session, and how this method can help you move from survival mode into something so much more grounded and connected.
🎥 Listen to the Full Conversation Here:
👉 “EMDR & Generational Healing” with Connor McClenahan and Dana Carretta-Stein on Spotify 🔗 Click here to listen to the full episode on Spotify
So... What Even Is EMDR Therapy and How Does it Work?
In simple terms, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that helps your brain reprocess traumatic experiences so they stop hijacking your nervous system.
It was developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s when she noticed her own stress decreasing as her eyes moved side to side during a walk. That discovery became a scientifically-backed treatment for PTSD, anxiety, and all kinds of emotional stuckness.
At Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale NY, we use EMDR therapy to help clients untangle patterns they’ve been trapped in for years—sometimes decades.
The process uses bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tones, or tactile input) to help the brain rewire how it holds painful memories. Instead of staying frozen in survival mode, your system finally gets the message: “That was then. This is now. I’m safe.”
The 8 Phases of EMDR (A Map for the Healing Process)
History Taking – We gather the pieces of your story to identify where trauma may still be living in your system.
Preparation – You learn nervous system regulation tools and build trust with your therapist.
Assessment – We identify memories (or “targets”) and the negative beliefs tied to them.
Desensitization – We use bilateral stimulation to reduce the emotional intensity.
Installation – We reinforce more adaptive beliefs (e.g., “I am safe now”).
Body Scan – You check in for any lingering tension or emotional charge.
Closure – You leave each session feeling grounded, not cracked open.
Reevaluation – We look at what's shifted and what needs more attention.
Yes, there’s structure. But in our podcast, I describe it this way:
“Learn the structure—and then go rogue.”EMDR works best when therapists are attuned, flexible, and deeply present with each client’s unique process.
Why Clients Are Scared to Start EMDR (And Why It’s Valid)
This part of the conversation with Connor hit home for both of us. Clients often feel nervous—or flat-out terrified—when starting trauma work.
They say things like:
“What if I can’t handle it?”“What if it gets worse before it gets better?”
And the truth is... sometimes it does feel worse before it feels better. But that’s not a failure—it’s actually a sign that your nervous system is finally ready to process what it couldn’t before.
“You’ve gone through the trauma alone. You’re not going to go through the treatment alone.”That’s one of the biggest takeaways from our conversation. Therapeutic safety is the game-changer. The client-therapist relationship is what makes EMDR work—not just the technique.
EMDR and Generational Trauma: The Part You Didn’t Expect to Heal
This is where the conversation took a deeply personal turn.
I shared a story about an unexpected panic attack I had during pregnancy—an overwhelming fear that I would die and leave my child alone. There was no immediate threat, but the terror was primal. And when I looked into my family history, the pieces fell into place:
A great-grandmother lost too soon
A child in the family who died in a fire
A pattern of respiratory issues across generations
In somatic therapy and traditional Chinese medicine, the lungs are tied to grief. And I was carrying grief that hadn’t been mine to begin with—but that had never been expressed.
Through my own healing journey, I was able to process that pain—not just for me, but for my children, and the generations before me who never got the chance. And while I didn't realize it at the time, when I named my daughter Caroline—after Dad's first-born daughter (my sister) who passed away during childbirth—it became a reclaiming, not just a memorial. A rewriting of the story.
Why EMDR Resonates Now More Than Ever
We’re living in a time where people are finally saying, “I want to do more than cope—I want to heal.”
Sure, celebrities like Prince Harry and Sandra Bullock have helped bring EMDR into the spotlight, but this isn’t a fad. It’s a return to the kind of deep, regulated, relational healing we’ve always needed.
In the Here in Session podcast, Connor and I talked about how EMDR transforms your nervous system to move from chaos to calm, from reactivity to integration.
And maybe most importantly? It offers hope.
Is EMDR Therapy Right for You?
At Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Westchester NY, we specialize in trauma therapy for clients who are:
Struggling with anxiety, panic, or burnout
Feeling stuck in cycles of people-pleasing or emotional reactivity
Adult children of emotionally immature parents
Dealing with complex trauma or generational grief
Looking for more than just insight—they want real transformation
You don’t need to have a “big-T” trauma to benefit from EMDR. If your body feels constantly on edge and you keep repeating patterns you can’t explain—this therapy can help.
✅ Ready to Start EMDR Therapy in Westchester?
We work with clients in Scarsdale, Mamaroneck, White Plains, and across Westchester County and New York State via telehealth. We're also licensed to work with clients virtually in the states of Florida, Connecticut and New Jersey.
Get Matched with a trauma therapist near you who gets you. We’ll answer your questions, walk you through the process, and make sure it’s the right fit for you.
✅ Ready to Start EMDR Therapy in California?
Connor's team at Here Counseling offers EMDR therapy virtually and in-person in downtown Los Angeles and Pasadena.
Use their AI Therapist Matcher to find which of their therapist's are the best fit for you or request a call to get started!
🧠 About Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale, NY
Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling is a trauma-informed group therapy practice in Scarsdale, NY. Our therapists specialize in EMDR therapy, attachment wounds, anxiety, and nervous system regulation.
We help individuals of all ages break generational patterns and build the kind of relationships—and lives—they’ve always wanted but never thought were possible.
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